My wife and I fell into a rabbit hole mini-binge watch of TLC’s “My 600lb Life”. Besides being very motivating, the show is a fantastic look into human behavior. It isn’t a coincidence that many financial teachers have used weight loss as a picture of getting our personal finances under control.
As I watched these episodes, I noted a couple observations:
- Real change takes two years
The show follows a subject’s story over an extended period of time, generally about 2 years. It’s obviously not easy to lose 300-400lbs, but it’s easy to forget that a huge change can take a long time. For people in large amounts of debt, I’ve also noticed it takes about 2 years to get out of a massive financial hole. This could be discouraging – but I choose to think of it as encouraging. No matter how big your problem, there is a decent chance that two years from now you could have a completely different life.
- Surgery doesn’t fix it
The people on the show are there because they’re seeking to get a lap band surgery to help them lose weight. It’s interesting that the doctor doesn’t let them get the surgery unless they lose a significant amount of weight first. He understands that surgery isn’t the solution – the patient has to be willing to change first. The first step is always a change of the heart and mind. It’s helpful to remember that there isn’t any financial fix (more money, better job, lower interest rate, rich uncle) that will ‘fix’ your life. Instead…..
- It always starts with a choice
Any big life change will always be initiated by being ‘sick and tired of being sick and tired’. It’s being ‘mad as hell and not going to take it anymore’.
- Caused by trauma
It’s heartbreaking to hear the back story of the people on this show. Nearly all of them can trace their physical problems back to a major trauma – often being abused (physically, sexually) in some fashion. It seems obvious to this amateur physiologist that there is a direct connection between an event that caused the victim to hate their body and the ensuing weight gain. Finances aren’t always like this, but often we can trace our attitudes and behaviors back to the way we were raised to understand money. Often students I counsel will start our conversation with some version of “My parents weren’t very good with money”.
- A million small choices
Nobody gains 400lbs in a day, week, month, or year. Similarly, most of us got into debt over a period of time through a lot of small choices.
- This will change your life
Losing 400lbs over 2 years will change your life. The show’s participants are always so grateful to have made the journey. Nobody loses that much weight and says “You know, my life is pretty much the same just with smaller jeans.” When I’ve felt the crushing burden of too much debt, it expands into my mental and spiritual spaces. I’ve found myself thinking about money throughout the day, or trying not to think about it and feeling guilty about ignoring my problems. Getting out of debt will change your life. Once you’re out of debt, your life won’t be “pretty much the same just without any payments”. No, I think you’ll find it affects lots of decisions and emotions that you never considered.
- Takes a team
The story of the show isn’t just the main character, it’s always the supporting cast. There is usually a massive enabler or two that helped the protagonist get to their current state. Once they are ready to change, a team of doctors, nurses, personal trainers, nutritionist, friends, and family all come along side the person and help them toward their goal. Finances are similar – if you can build a team of encouragers around you it is wildly helpful. Here’s some more info on working toward a goal with a team.
- A persistent spark of Hope
When things are dark, we need to remember that it will be worth it. In “The Pilgrims Progress”, Christian is helped in his darkest times by his companion Hopeful. When we’re ready to quit, what we really need is Hope. Hope that all the sacrifice will ultimately be worth it. Watching the TV show I’m reminded what Paul taught:
“We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”